#Also can I just say Caiden vibes

[king-of-tragedy]

Not to be melodramatic but "you've got to get better, you're all that I've got"/"I've got to get better, I'm all that I've got" might be one of the most beautifully raw and heartwrenching lyrics I've ever heard sung before. Like. Shoot, man. I really am all that I've got.

[somethingdifferent-ff-blog]

25.

Keem

“Sorry I don’t mean to interrupt but I need to speak to my baby daddy for a second sweetie.” I heard a familiar voice say. I turned around from my date with Danielle to see Sinai standing there with somebody’s grown ass child in her arms. My eyes almost fell out of my head at the sight.

   “Baby daddy?” I repeated screwing my face up and turning towards Danielle. “She’s not-”

  “Baby daddy?!” Danielle repeated cutting me off and giving me a dirty look and standing up. This was our second date and I was really looking forward to getting to know her more. But it seems like that was now over.

  “Yes girl baby daddy. He didn’t tell you? We have three kids together, this here is lil tink tink our youngest.”  Sinai said adjusting the baby on her hip and grinning at both Danielle and I. “Ion mean to interrupt yall little date. I just need to know if he has my child support check or not.”

  “Sinai stop playing.’ I said through clenched teeth.

  “Da-da” The baby said reaching out for me, my jaw dropped and I turned towards Danielle in shock.

  “Danielle I can explain. Well I can’t but I can.” I stammered but it was too late.

  “I’ll leave you two alone and let you handle your business.” Danielle said standing up and shaking her head. “And Keem? Don’t call me.” I sucked my teeth and glared at Sinai as Danielle walked away, once she was out of earshot I turned towards Sinai who was now sitting in Danielle’s spot.

  “Say bye lil tink-tink.” Sinai whispered to the baby as they both waved goodbye to Danielle.

  “Are you crazy?!” I snapped at her.

  “Yes one hundred percent.” She replied cradling the baby and kissing it on it’s cheek. I looked at her bewildered before finding my words once more.

  “Who’s baby is that?” I asked trying to make sense of what just happened. She had just crashed my date with a random baby.

  “My friend Tammy’s. I told her I needed to borrow it.” She replied calmly before setting the baby down in it’s carrier, sitting down in Danielle’s spot, and folding her hands looking at me. “So let’s talk. Why are you going on dates?”

  “Because we’re through Sinai.” I responded coolly. We weren’t done and I knew that for a fact, I just needed to teach her a lesson. I don’t like not feeling like I can trust someone and the fact that she went behind my back really hurt me.

  “No we’re not Keem. I tell you when we are done.” She replied giving me a crazy look. I chuckled to myself, what in the hell did I get myself into fucking with this girl. Lowkey her behavior was turning me on but I couldn’t let that show right now.

  “You’re nuts.” I said shaking my head and sitting back in my seat.

  “Yeah but you knew that when we first started talking. Now on a serious note, I’m sorry for going behind your back and seeing Moe in therapy. My intentions were never to hurt you or lie to you, I actually thought this would make things better. So I truly am sorry.” She said before stopping to look into my eyes and peep my reaction.

  “I accept your apology but I’m not gonna forget what you did Sinai. It really wasn’t cool.” I said shaking my head. I really had been hurt by that, ion care if it may not seem like a big deal but to me trust is everything. “You fucked up our trust.”

  “I understand that and once again I’m sorry. I know that I’ve been acting funny towards you and I can only imagine how sus it must have looked to you, I know how wrong I was. The thing is Keem, I don’t want to lose you. If that means no longer working on the wedding then so be it, you’re more important to me than anybody else. If we have to start over then I’m cool with that, I can prove to you that I can be trusted.” She replied.

  “Ion want to have to tell you that you can’t work on the wedding. That’s fucking with your money and also I want to be able to trust you. I shouldn’t have to make you choose like that.” I said shaking my head at the thought of having to tell her not to work on the wedding.

  “Look Sinai, I’ve been cheated on before and I’ve cheated before. So trust is something that I now take seriously. But I still do feel like I can trust you and I was just fucking with you, we aren’t through.” I said with a chuckle.

  “I already knew we weren’t through Keem, and if we’re being real you cheated on me twice with these little dates you been going on. Let’s let that be the end of that because I’d hate to have to kill us both.” She said rolling her eyes causing me to laugh at how insane she was.

  “Anyways let’s go, I gotta return Tammy’s child babe.” She said grabbing the carrier and holding her hand out for me to grab. I chuckled to myself as I looked down at the baby before grabbing her hand and standing up. Sinai was definitely nuts, but she was my nuts shorty and I wouldn’t want her any other way.

 Richè

 “Caiden can I ask you something?” I asked him as we sat in the shop. I had come by to surprise Marcus but he was on a drop with Quis and Keem was nowhere to be found so it was just Caiden and I in the shop.

  “Wassuh shorty?” he asked licking over his lips before raising his blunt to his lips and lighting it. I watched him intently before looking away and over at the door to see if anyone was coming.

  “I just wanted to know why you and the guys dont get along. Like you’re all so cool and chill but together it’s like you hate each other.” I said with biting my lip as I paused. “I just don’t get it.”

  “Our beef goes way back, we all grew up together and so when we were younger our brothers all ran this shit. Long story short my brother turned on Marcus’ brother and that’s why his older brother is still in prison. My brother is in prison too but his sentence is shorter. The thing is he didn’t turn on Marcus’ brother for no reason, my brother had a family to look out for and he was pretty much raising me so he did what he had to do to ensure that he’d be there for us. Quis and Keem don’t look at it like that though. They look at my brother like a snitch and because that’s my blood they don’t trust me either.” He explained to me before stopping to take a long pull from the blunt. He offered it to me and I shook my head no. I could only picture everyone’s face if they walked in to find me sharing an L with Caiden.

  “That’s so dumb. So because your brother did something they hate you? I don’t get that logic.” I said wrinkling my nose and shaking my head.

  “That’s how the streets work ma. Once your reputation is ruined that’s it.” He replied with a shrug before taking another pull.

  “Do you ever try to talk to them about it? Maybe that could work.” I suggested.

  “Nah that wouldn’t work ma, it’s not how these things work unfortunately. But as you can see I’m not tripping on them, I focused on getting this money.” He said with another a careless shrug. In the back of mind I couldn’t help but think about what Marcus had told me about Caiden being a snake and I found it hard to believe.

  Caiden just didn’t give me snake vibes, if anything he gave me selfish vibes. He cared about himself and those close to him and that was it, but I didn’t see anything wrong with that. I was actually beginning to feel bad for Caiden.

  “That doesn’t bother you? Not having anyone trust you, not even your own friends?” I asked him pouting slightly as I tried to read his expression. He shook his head no and made a passive face.

  “They aren’t my friends. Marcus is and he trusts me.” He said to which I looked away from him not wanting to give away what I knew. “Besides me and you are cool, and if we’re being honest I’d rather chill with you than those niggas any day. You’re dope Richè, Marcus is a lucky dude.” Caiden said. I felt my face grow hot with embarrassment and before I could respond the door to the shop opened and in walked Marcus and Quis.

  “Hi baby!” I said jumping up quickly and making my way over to Marcus. I knew I was acting hella sus but I felt super guilty just now. Even though I did nothing the way I just blushed said a lot and I wasn’t feeling that.

  “Wassuh ma?” Marcus greeted me, pulling me in for a hug and resting his hands on my ass as he did so.

  “Nothing, I came by to see you but you weren’t here so I-I was just waiting for you.” I said tripping over my words as I looked him in his eyes. He gave me a suspicious look before leaning down to kiss me. Our lips connected and Caiden soon moved to the back of my mind, never had Marcus kissed me so passionately especially not in front of our friends. I pulled away out of breath and feeling like a little girl with a major crush.

  “I gotta count this money real quick and then we can head out, okay shorty?” he said to me, I nodded grinning at him like an idiot. Quis gave me a cool nod and glared at Caiden before heading into the back with Marcus. I cleared my throat and turned to find Caiden staring at me in a way that made me feel very exposed.

  “What?” I asked him growing irritated with his attention on me.

  “Nothing shorty.” He replied before putting his blunt out and standing up, stretching so that his shirt rose up a bit and revealed his stomach. I quickly looked away and  I heard him chuckle lowly to himself. “I’ll see you later ma.” He said before disappearing into the back where the rest of the guys had went. Leaving me by myself in the front a hot, flustered, confused mess.

[somethingdifferent-ff-blog]

24.

Marcus

 “I didn’t mean to hit her Marcus, I really didn’t like it just happened. I was sooo upset and now I feel like complete shit. I hit my little sister.” Richè sobbed to me as we sat in my office at the shop. She had just burst in an emotional wreck and as her nigga I knew it was my duty to listen to her and help her through it. “I just know she hates me Marcus.” She sniffled.

  “Come here shorty.” I said to her gesturing for her to get up from where she sat from across from me. She wiped her eyes and stood up walking around my desk and standing in front of me so that she was in between my legs. I gently pulled her by her belt loops so that she was sitting on my lap and I wrapped my arms around her. “Now we both know she doesn’t hate you.”

  “I just feel so bad, you didn’t see how she looked at me.” she whimpered as she buried her face in my neck, her warm tears falling onto my skin. I rubbed her back in a circular motion in an attempt to soothe her.

  “Just give it time baby girl. You both were upset and you both said things you didn’t mean, you just need some space from each other right now. But trust me, Nyelle doesn’t hate you. She thinks you hate her.” I explained to Richè.

  “How do you know?” She asked looking up at me teary-eyed, I chuckled and gave her a knowing look.

  “You think you were the first one to call me all upset? Nyelle called me right before you showed up and she feels the same way you do.” I said to her using my thumbs to wipe away her tears. It was true, Nyelle called me up crying not sure what to do or say and I had tried my best to calm her down as well.

  “Thank you for looking after her Marcus, I really appreciate it. I never want her to feel alone.” Richè said sitting up in my lap before leaning down and gently pressing her lips against mine. I leaned my head up to meet her lips and kissed her back just as gently and passionately. Once we pulled away she giggled softly.

  “What?” I asked her raising my eyebrows curiously.

  “You have my lipstick on now.” She replied laughing once more before using her thumbs to wipe off her lipstick. “But now on a serious note what’s going on with the whole Keem thing?” She asked me. I paused unsure of whether or not I should reveal my thoughts and doubts to her. But then again if I couldn’t trust my shorty who could I trust.

  “Aigh well keep this between me and you-” She cut me off with a pop to the head.

  “Duh who else am I gonna tell?” She said rolling her eyes at me playfully.

  “You better chill with them hands, you see what they’ve gotten you into already.” I replied teasing her. She gasped and went to move off of my lap but I grabbed her wrists making it impossible for her to move. “I’m playing I’m playing, you gonna listen or not?” I asked her, she nodded her head glaring at me.

  “Okay so lowkey I’ve been keeping my eye on Caiden. I just haven’t let Keem or Quis now, but I have a strong suspicion that he was behind Keem’s jumping. I have him on a special mission where he’s supposed to be working with rival dealers in other territories, he’s supposed to gain their trust and then overthrow them so that I can move in. But what he doesn’t know is I already have someone over there working on the low and he has been for almost two years now. He’s been keeping an eye on Caiden for me and he’s been pointing out to me that Caiden isn’t really down for me. He’s down for himself, I’m trying to lay as low as possible so that I can gather all the facts and proof and then eliminate him.” I explained to Richè hoping that she was following everything I’ve said. I gave her such a brief synopsis of everything.

  “Okay...I think I get it. But are you sure? Caiden seems like he really cares about you and making sure you’re good.” She replied with a shrug. “That’s just the vibe I’ve been getting.”

  “Nah he aint as loyal as he’s been making it seem. My nigga that’s been working undercover wouldn’t lie and I also been getting weird vibes from Caiden. Keem and Quis think that I’m sleeping on that nigga but really I’m wide awake. I’m just playing it smart.” I replied stroking my beard as I spoke. “Why you so quick to defend him ma?” I asked Richè curiously.

  “I guess I feel bad for him. He’s been nothing but cool to me but he receives so much shit from Keem and Quis. He only hangs out with yall so it’s like who does he have as a friend if two out of three hate his guts.” She explained with a slight shrug.

  “I be forgetting you have a good heart.” I replied with a chuckle. “Just be careful ma, I trust you 100% but I don’t trust him and I don’t want him to try anything and I don’t want you to get hurt in the process.” I said reaching up and stroking her cheek gently, she smiled and nodded her head before leaning down to place several kisses on my neck. “Hold up.” I grunted pushing her away gently.

  “Go lock the door.” I said licking over my lips and looking up at her, she grinned before getting up from my lap and doing as I said.

 Dej

 “Papi you okay?” I asked Quis as we walked around in Soho. It was a nice day out and we were going to do some baby shopping as well as regular shopping for ourselves, but he had been strangely quiet with me. Don’t get me wrong Quis was a quiet guy in general, but with me it was different.

  “No.” He replied shaking his head, I tucked my top lip in and nodded my head. I squeezed his hand gently in an attempt to urge him to speak.

  “Háblame (talk to me).”  I said speaking to him in Spanish. It was cute but Quis had told me he wanted to learn to speak Spanish so that he could one day communicate with my parents fluently and he had been studying on his own as well as taking lessons from me.

  “I’m thinking about quitting.” He replied keeping his voice so low that I could barely hear what he had said.

  “Quitting?” I asked unsure of what exactly it was he was referring to. Quitting what? The shop, the drug dealing?

  “Yeah leaving the shop and all the other shit alone. I’m thinking about quitting and getting a legitimate job instead.” He explained before looking over at me to see my reaction. I widened my eyes a bit surprised at what he was suggesting.

  “Really? What makes you want to do that babe?” I asked finally finding the words to respond to him. Quis never spoke about leaving Keem,Marcus, and the shop. They were his family and the shop was something they had all invested so much time and money into.

  “This whole shit with Caiden isn’t sitting right with me. I know that something isn’t right and I feel like he was behind the whole Keem shit, Marcus has his head up Caiden’s ass and is acting like he’s too blind to see what’s really going on. I can’t just let my future rest on a nigga that I know is going to fuck us over. If I get a legit job and then quit this other shit I at least have something to fall back on.” He responded. I nodded remaining quiet until I was sure he was finished speaking.

  “I think getting a legit job is really smart because you’re right. It’s too risky to place your entire future in the hands of somebody you don’t trust. I support whatever you decide to do baby. I’m glad you’re thinking for yourself though and thinking about us and the baby.” I said with a smile. Quis surprised me more and more everyday with his actions and words.

  When we first met I never would have thought that somebody so hard and rough could have such a soft interior and a gentle heart. Never could I imagine that we’d be in the position we were now in, about to be parents and deeply in love with each other.

  “I don’t want my son being born into a world where his father can only rely on the streets as a way of making money. I want to show him better, I want him to look at me and recognize that having a legit job and putting family first is what’s cool. Not that other shit. I honestly believe if someone had showed me that then I wouldn’t be where I am right now.” He said shaking his head.

  “There’s nothing wrong with where you are Quis. From the time I met you to now, I’ve seen you grow so much and it’s amazing to be able to watch you continue to grow. I’m proud of you papi.” I said pulling him to the side so that we were no longer walking, I then tip-toed and gave him a soft peck on his lips. “I’m proud of you and I love you.”

  “I love you too ma.” He replied pulling me close to him but careful enough not to smoosh my belly.

  “Whatever you decide to do just know I’m standing behind you, me and our little one.” I said placing my hand on my stomach, just as I did so I felt a powerful kick that was strong enough to make me squeal. “Babe touch my stomach! Toca mi estómago!” I said excitedly.

  He gave me a weird look as he smiled before shakily reaching out to touch my stomach. As I felt the warmth from his hand come into contact with my stomach through my shirt I felt butterflies in my stomach before feeling the baby move around in stomach before sending another powerful kick our way.

  “Holy shit!” Quis said pulling his hand away as he jumped before laughing and placing his hand back onto my stomach. “See that’s another reason why I want to quit. I want to be able to enjoy the little moments like these without having to look over my shoulder or worry about someone fucking me over.”

  “I understand baby and like I said I support you through whatever. But now I need you to support me.” I said twisting my lips to the side.

  “And how can I do that?” He asked raising his eyebrows at me curiously.

  “Get me something to eat pleaseee.” I sang before breaking out into a grin. “Can we please get some Chipotle?”

  He laughed in response and nodded his head yes. “Let’s go hungry.” He said before wrapping his arm around me and leading me towards the Chipotle at the end of the block. I knew that things wouldn’t always be perfect for us, especially if Quis quit working with Keem and Marcus. But moments like this where it was just the two of us along with our little one, I didn’t care.